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Rick,
In your scenario, you do not tell us the faith of her first husband. If he was a Roman Catholic or of the Orthodox religion and the marriage was not in a Church, then you have lucked out and that can be handled easily.
Chances are the man was not Catholic or Orthodox and therefore we consider her to be in a valid marriage and therefore she is not free to marry you.
Consequently, your marriage to her is not valid and you cannot become a Catholic until it is made valid.
Your Church is correct that a process needs to be done and we need to reach out to the former spouse however the process does not have to be a full Annulment — it could be done as a Favor of the Faith case.
You should be in touch with a knowledgeable priest or your local Tribunal and they can help you out.
Fr. Jonathan
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